Divine M&A

[up in heaven]

Divine Banker #1: You know, I've been thinking.
Divine Banker #2: About what?
Divine Banker #1: Well, I think this whole system we have up here is sort of inefficient.
Divine Banker #2: What do you mean?
Divine Banker #1: Well, think about it. We've got over 3,000 deities up here.
Divine Banker #2: And? There's a lot of room up here in heaven.
Divine Banker #1: Well, it's sort of makes it confusing for people to worship them. It's inefficient, you know. Think about it. It's confusing people. They can't keep track of all the gods and what not. I mean, the literacy rate down there is barely in the double digits! They spend all their hunting and gathering! They don't have time to remember the names of all our gods, nevermind who to worship and when!
Divine Banker #2: Hmmm.... you have a point.
Divine Banker #1: It's a highly fragmented market right now with none one god having over a 10% market share.
Divine Banker #2: What do you propose?
Divine Banker #1: Well, why don't we find the most popular god and have him acquire all his competitors. Everything will be easier. Fewer names to remember, an organized hierarchy. We could even combine all these thousands of books into one big book, you know, into a bible of sorts. The cost synergies you could achieve would be tremendous! Not to mention the worshipping synergies.
Divine Banker #2: You might be on to something... It's like you're rolling-up all the gods.
Divine Banker #1: YES! A roll-up! That's the word. The potential would huge! I bet you we could get some of the big private equity guys to buy into this!
Divine Banker #2: Yeah, ever since the pyramids, they've been looking for the next big thing.
Divine Banker #1: Great! I'll give my guys a call. And think of the fees....
Divine Banker #2: Fees.....

Hours spent at work: 13
Current weight: 155.0 lb
Check: engine, oil, and brain.