Smallville

Snow today trapping me indoors. So with all this freetime, do I decide to write the great American novel? Try to remember how to play the guitar? Mediate and contemplate life, the universe and everything. Nope. Instead I decided to watch "10 Things I Hate About You" (it was on Comedy Central) and about 10 hours of Smallville.

Some random thoughts after all of this:

- High school is so much more interesting in movies. Or maybe I just hung around the wrong crowd.

- Aquaman really got short-changed in the superpowers department. He can swim really fast???? And now he gets his own show? I hate television.

- I wish I had superpowers. Unfortunately, in Smallville-verse, this would also result in me being becoming mentally unstable, developing some sort of superpower tied to my personality, and using it to advance some nutso personal agenda.

- In my case, as a slightly jaded investment banker, I think I would gain the ability to make people become bitter and work really hard to the detriment of everything else in their lives. Here's how I would envision said episode:

I'm working late in an investment bank. I eat Kryptonite enhanced sushi from the local Japanese restaurant. I gain superpowers.

so far so good.

In my Kryptonite-induced state, I come to the conclusion that all of the world's problems are caused by shiny happy people who don't work but just sit around having it good (hmm.. does this mean I'm secretly Republican?). I decide the solution to make everyone jaded like me. And also imbue them with a work ethic.

Happy Dude [in the Smurfs theme]: la la la, la la la
Happy Dude: I'm so happy! Things are looking great! I'm going to sit around and do nothing except to think about how great life is! Tomorrow, tomorrow is only a day away!!
Me: AGGGHH!
[I shoot him with Kryptonite beam]
(Formerly) Happy Dude[glumly]: Life sucks.
Me: [chuckles menancingly]

So then people all around would start becoming bitter and jaded and start ignoring their families and relationships to go work. Basically, my Kryptonite crazed-self would envision the perfect world the way America envisioned Japan to be during the 80s. Perhaps there could be some pseudo-political commentary about living to work vs. working to live and about how bitter people are human-beings still. This being television, it could only end in one of two ways.

Option 1.) Clark kicks my ass.
Option 2.) I make the girl I love bitter and jaded, which makes me regret my actions and realize that I've gone power-mad. Tormented and wracked with guilt, I then proceed to throw myself from the roof of the John Hancock Tower.

Hmm.. Not so good. Maybe I'd better stick to romantic comedies.

Me: Hi.
Cute Girl: I want you.

Much better.

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Special preview of this week's episode:

This week in my life
I have amusing conversations with co-workers! I do some comps! I ponder the meaning of life! I go on interviews! And perhaps a date?
[dramatic music.]

Conclusion. I need to stop watching television.