Going Public

I've been offered a third year at my job, and they've given me about a week to decide. So rather than be racked by indecision for a week, I've come up with the perfect alternative.

I've decided to go public. I'll be selling shares in myself to you, the general public. For a very reasonable amount, you can be an equity holder in one slightly-jaded, Asian-American investment banker. You guys would vote on a board of directors, appoint a CEO, COO, CFO, CTO and the like, and proceed to tell me how to live my life. In return, you will not only get a handsome dividend from my earnings, but you'll essentially own me as well.

This way, I'll no longer have to make hard decisions in my life. My management team will do it for me, and they're answerable to the board. I suppose I could be Chairman and CEO of my own corporation, but I've never been a fan of closely held corporations. I imagine I could set up a website where my stockholders could vote on the crucial decisions of my life such as:

-Should I have the soup or the questionable wrap for lunch?
-Should I tell my MD that his idea is great or that not only is he smoking crack, he's smoking the really good kind?
-Should I open conversation with the cute girl at the bar with "Hey, I'll make you dinner if you make me breakfast?" or "The 70's called. They want their hair back"?

In fact, this could be the start of a trend. Imagine being able to buy stock in actor/actresses, rock bands and the like. You would have made a killing if you longed Lindsay Lohan 3 years ago and shorted Mariah Carey.

As for valuation, well, I figure my net present value is at least $1 billion+, but I'll settle for a $1 billion. So that's only $10 million for 1% stake. A very reasonable price if I say so myself. How do a justify such a valuation? Well, from FY 2003 to FY 2004, I went from earning a little over $5000 a year to earning $80,000+. That's over 1500% revenue growth! Absolutely phenomenal by any stretch.

Possible downsides:
-Quiet period. An investment banker who can't talk about himself and not much more? Who's ever heard of such a thing?
-Hostile takeover by an unfriendly corporation
-Double taxation due to S-Corp structure

After having several banks bake-off for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, I've decided to with Goldman and Morgan as my underwriters. So, who wants to buy some stock?

Hours spent at work this weekend: 6
Investment considerations: Risky

It's Not Confidential, I've Got Potential

I've concluded that my life right now is stuck on the lower "sticky" end of a Keynesian supply curve. Thus, I need an exogenous shock to break me out of equilibrium. Of course, part of the problem is that I don't know what the x and y axis are supposed to represent, let alone the supply and demand curves. What the hell would P and Q mean on the chart of life? Well, I guess the possibilities are endless.

Hours spent at work: 12
Time spent driving to work: 1 hr 45min
Surgeon General's Warning: I-banking causes cynicism, heart disease, exhaustion, and may complicate pregnancy.

Career Alternative 1

Career Alternative 1: Working for Scott Boras, sports agent extraordinaire

Why? It's the same fucking job. I-bankers promote high valuations for companies of questionable quality ($607 million for a company with less than $1 million trailing revenue???!?!?!??!). Scott Boras promotes high valuations for players of dubious quality ($36 million for Derek Lowe??!?!?!?!?) Same fucking job. And apparently, Scott's fee is 5% of a player's total contract. Think about that.

Reportedly, for Alex Rodriguez, he put together a massive presentation (read management presentation) discussing his "investment highlights." In the presentation, based on "projections," he was expected to retire as the all-time leader in home-runs, RBIs, Total Bases, and whatever other offense metric you can think of. Somewhere in '99, someone probably predicted that Ariba would be doing over $1 billion in revenue in 5 years. And of course, I imagine the analysis showing how much additional revenue Alex could bring in would look something like this:

1999 Texas Rangers Operating Statistics
($Millions, except per ticket data)
1999 Texas Rangers Avg. Ticket Price¹: $25
1999 Texas Rangers Attendance¹: 1.5 million
1999 Texas Rangers Ticket Revenue²: $37.5

Transaction Synergies
Incremental Year 2000 Attendance attributable to Alex: 1 million
Incremental Average Ticket Price Increase attributable to Alex: $5
Incremental 2000 Revenue Attributable to Alex³:
1 million * ($25+$5) + 1.5 million * ($5) = $37.5

The acquisition of Alex Rodriguez (or "the Player") by the Texas Rangers (or "the Team") will double revenues in 2000
(1) Source: Texas Rangers media guide
(2) Source: Forbes magazine
(3) Does not take into account synergies from advertising or apparel sales


Some questions:
-Does Scott Boras get a massive lucite tombstone when he gets a client signed?
-Is the payment all up-front? Did he just receive a $12.6 million dollar check when Alex Rodriguez signed?
-Is he feeable on incentive clauses?
-Is there an opportunity for agents serving "middle-market" (read washed-up and/or crappy) players? (Imagine the pitch: We are a full-service agency representing middle market sports player. You the player are underserved by the bulges. Do you think that you're top on Scott Boras' list? Or on Arn Tellem's? We at Winthrop Prescott provide senior level attention throughout your entire playing lifecyle. Winthrop Prescott is the leading sports agency targeting the middle market. In the last 5 years, Winthrop Prescott ranked number 1 in the number of clients signed where the total deal value was less than $5 million¹)
(1) Source: SDC Platinum
-Does anyone else think that universities should be allowed to trade professors? ("We'll give you Cornell West and a post-doc to be named later for Stephen Pinker.")
-Are these questions signs that I've been in i-banking too long?

Hours spent at work: 13
Hubie Brown sez: Lots of upside.

The Beginning

How did I end up in banking? It wasn't exactly pre-planned by anymeans. Back in high school, the jobs I considered were:

1.) writer
2.) scientist
3.) teacher
4.) lawyer
5.) professional rock star

I wasn't even aware of the existence of so-called investment banks at this point. So how did things change? I can't recall the exact moment, but I'm pretty sure it went like this:

The year is 1999. The stock market is climbing to all time highs. Construction is continuing on the "Information Superhighway," and the feeling in the air is one of hope and exuberance for the new millennium, that somehow this "highway" would transport humanity (or at least the US) to a new a better time (a "paradigm shift"). In the hallowed halls of Harvard College, a bunch of naive freshman sit together at Annenberg dining hall.

Frosh1: So what are you guys going to do after college?
Mike: Probably go to grad school to study math.
Me: I dunno, haven't really thought about it yet. Law school maybe?
Frosh2: Probably do recruiting or something. My brother did that.
Me: What's recruiting?
Frosh2: Well, from what my brother told me, Wall Street firms come onto campus to look for people. Lots of seniors end up doing it.
Frosh1: What kinda jobs are they?
Frosh2: You know, banking jobs. Finance and stuff. Also some consulting for businesses.
Me: Ick. Sounds boring.
Frosh2: Yeah, but it's easy you know. They come onto campus looking for you. And you don't even have to have a high GPA. They're hiring like crazy right now.
Mike: Yeah, unless you're going to med or law school, GPA is pretty much irrelevant.
Frosh2: And they're really high paying. Like over $50g your first year, with a bonus the same size.
Me: [proceeds to choke on chickwich]

And that's pretty much it. Because of this myth of banking, I never really explored other career options or even bothered with grades. Not that I'm attributing my lackluster performance in college all to this one talk, but alot of your motivation does go down the proverbial drain when you realize that you can be making a crap load without having to do so much work. Of course, the stock market bubble crashed and the firms stopped hiring, which made for a pretty painful recruiting season. It didn't help matters much that even when I was recruiting senior year I wasn't too sure what banking was.

Example Interview:
Interviewer: So Raymond, why do you want to be in banking?
Stated answer: Well, I've always been interested in financial markets and business. I knew that I wanted exposure to business when I realized during my junior year that I spent more time reading about the videogame industry and the business aspects of it rather than playing them. And investment banking, more than any other job, combines... blah blah
Real answer: Because I don't know what else to do, everyone else is doing it, and damnit, I want some money.
Interviewer: You say you're interested in finance. Can you tell me how to calculate a WACC?
Me: Umm... A what now?

Or another one of my favorites [this time for a hedge fund, unrelated to investment banking, but it shows my "market knowledge"]:
Interviewer: So how much do you know about capital markets?
Me [trying to show off]: I'll be honest, not much, but I know some stuff. Like CAPM and portfolio theory.
Interviewer: So what can you tell me about CAPM? Do you think it's correct?
Me: Ummm..... [pause] Sure, it seems right in most cases, but sometimes it doesn't quite work.
Interviewer: [pause] Anything else? Can you be more specific?
Me: [pause]
Me: [pause]
Me: [pause] Not really.
Interviewer: I see.

Needless to say I did not get a call back in either case. I must have applied to every firm out there. At one point, I was desperate enough to consider basically compiling survey data for a 10 person "consulting" shop in Newton (which started work at 7:30am in the morning no less). I ended the year with no offers and few leads.

Summer was spent browsing monstertrak, and finally an analyst position appeared at my current firm. Ironically enough, I had interviewed with them during the fall, and I didn't even make it past the first round. Good thing they didn't keep track of such things. I aced my first round, and luckily (or maybe unluckily), at this time, I had been through so many interviews that I knew the stock reply to every question they could throw at me. I went through my four rounds, had lunch with Feng, who was working there at the time, and was summoned back to interview with the head MD of the office. It went reasonably well, and at 5:30pm at Bo's house, I got the call. They made me an offer I couldn't refuse.

*Technically speaking, considering that I was unemployed, living at home, and had been through about 50 or so rejections, any offer would be an offer I couldn't refuse. But nonetheless.*


Hours spent at work today: 10
Sign you've been in banking too long: Someone makes a comment about a hot model, and your first thought is about Excel.
Movie review says: Long and tedious.

*As a follow-up to yesterday's story, the VP and the MD were driven to the train station by the associate at 5am. Two trains were delayed, so they decided to take the train to Providence and try to get to NY from there. But after arriving at Providence, they discover that the train to NY there was also delayed. They then decide to go back to Boston and to do a videoconference from the office. So the same associate who had to wake up at 3:45am to drop them off had to pick them up at 8am at the station to drive them back to the office. Such is the life.

Blizzard of '05

Being an I-banker is alot like being a part of the mob. The MD mumbles from up on-high and demands complete and total obedience. (Imagine the godfather mumbling "I have this client, see, and we want to show him a valuation over 3x revenue see. I would seriously be displeased if this doesn't happen.") His SVPs and VPs are the faithful lieutenants who execute his whims, leaving the analysts as the grunts and hitmen. Like the mob, you've committed yourself to "the life," and only other i-bankers (and maybe corporate lawyers) can truly understand the degrading nature of your job. Sure, like the mob, you get perks like a generous expense policy and a nice chunk of cash, but on the other hand, like the mob, you're completely subservient to your don (and you lose your humanity in the process to boot). The big difference though is that while the mob generally brow-beats to get their dough, i-bankers suck cock like you wouldn't believe.

Example of "The Life"

Saturday, Jan. 22, 2005
Day before the blizzard
In the office by 11am. Pitch for an IPO on Monday in NY. 5th version of the book being reviewed. The day is spent processing minor, but time consuming changes. Just once I would like to see a pitch actually won because the potential client says "Wow, great tombstone page!" Snow begins falling slightly before 6. All the warnings on the news are for drivers to stay off the road, but no mere blizzard will stop this pitch. Spent the next couple of hours receiving emails with more changes, leave the office at 7:45pm.

Sunday, Jan. 23, 2005
Holy shit there's a lot of snow on the ground (see below). Naturally, the MDs who've had all week to review this book decide to send in their comments on the last day. Around 3pm I'm told to add '06 metrics to the comparables set (to those unfamiliar with the terminology, the translation is alot of pointless bitch work). I point out that this will take a while, and that the value add will be pretty minimal. Nonetheless, I'm expected to add it. Around 6pm, I sent off another version of the book with the '06 numbers. They look weird. At 8pm, I get a call. And you guessed it, I'm told to take out the '06 numbers. The final version of the book is ready at 10pm. I'm about to send it off to some unlucky first year in our New York office to print, when the MD forwards us an email from the potential client. The client informs our MD that the proceeds of the IPO would be used to pay off the high yield debt at the end of the '05, which means we have to readjust some numbers. Luckily, after spending about a half-hour discussing it with the VP, we decide that it's more trouble than it's worth at this point.

And my favorite part (which truly indicates how crazy i-bankers are) is that the MD and VP at one point decide to spend the night at the airport to catch the 6am flight to NY, but then they later decide to take the train. So they basically order an associate to wake up at 4am to pick them up and drop them off at the station. But at least I'm not alone. One of my fellow analysts received the call to do a full-blown pitch due Monday on Thursday at 3pm, which, by our estimations, was at least 30-40 hours of work. And how did this pitch arise? Because the potential client made some off-handed remark to our MD:

Paraphrased
[on the phone]
Client: Hey, we're having a board meeting on Monday. Why don't you come down and present?The board would love to meet you.
MD: Sure! Sounds great! What should I present?
Client: Oh, I don't know. Just some general stuff.

[off the phone]
MD to analyst and associate: We got this hot lead! We need to show them everything! I want 3 pub comp sets, 2 M&A comps, financial and strategic buyers, and what the hell, some merger candidates as well!

He's up at this hour still working on it from home. The irony is that he only received the pitch because I was staffed on the IPO pitch, and I was only staffed on the IPO pitch because the analyst who was supposed to do it had a stomach ulcer, proving that not only can you not avoid shit, but there's alot of it to go around.

The books were emailed at 11pm and printed and bound by midnight. At which point, I went out to shovel out my car, which I was unable to do all day because I was working, so I could go to work bright and early tomorrow to handle any last minute requests that might arise before the presentation. And naturally, the plows shoveled a huge mound in front of the driveway.

The life is good.


Somebody shoot me please.


Hours spent at work today: 10 (All at home to boot)
Hours spent shoveling snow: 1.5
The referee's call: Down and out.

Cold Enough To Freeze The Balls Off A Brass Elephant

Otherwise known as 26 Falkland procrastinates on buying oil.

I've learned something very important today. Something so important I want to memorialize it in writing.

The discovery of fire was a very good thing.

Think about it. It enabled man to brave the bitter cold, scare off predators, and cook a tasty morsel. I say this because what else do you think about when your apartment is out of oil and your roommates have deserted you for warmer environments? Oh well. At least the cold is supposed to enhance longevity (or so I've heard).

You know you're an alcoholic when:
over im
Ray: [bitching about cold]
Flo: you can always rub two sticks together
Ray: what do you think i've been doing?
Flo: drinking

Hours spent at work today: 12
Pushups done at work today: 20
Prognosis for tomorrow: Bitter, bitter cold.

Cold Enough To Freeze The Balls Off A Brass Donkey

It's unbelievably cold. It's also late. So in true blogging tradition, here's a link to a research report on happiness.

It was written last year by some equity research analyst and actually was issued through the normal channels. At some point in the report, he mentions a study which says that "Those who valued love more than money reported far higher life satisfaction scores than those who seemed to be money focused." But my question is what if it's love for money? Does that count? Please?

Disclaimer: Some people reading this webpage may come away with the impression that I am overly materialistic and cheap to boot. That's not true, I'm simply Asian.

Hours spent at work today: 19
Hours spent pondering the point of it all: 18.5 (half hour break for dinner)
Menu for Tomorrow: Misery wrap with chips and a pickle, $4.95. I wonder if it's low carb....

26 Falkland: Episode 1

26 Falkland Goes To The Grocery Store

Based on Actual Events

Starring:
Nara Peou
Bo Wang
Raymond Wu

Episode 1: On Sale
[in the meat aisle]
Nara: Damnit, they're out of chicken breasts.
Ray: We could go for beef.
Random woman: Yeah, they're completely out of chicken.
[Bo walks up with 2 bags of Chips Ahoy! and puts them in the shopping cart]
Nara: Hey, aren't these pricey?
Bo: No. They're on sale.
Nara: Oh.
[after a pause]
Bo: I mean, what kind of person do you think I am?
[after another pause]
Bo: I'm offended.

Finis
On Next Week's Episode: 26 Falkland debates the merits of Coke that is not on sale.
P.S. We're not that cheap. It's just principle.

Hours Spent At Work: 8
Recipe for Tomorrow: Add weariness tinged with bitterness and humor. Shake and serve when chill.
I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier.

Two Harvards

My friend Joe had a theory about Harvard. He claimed there were actually two Harvards: there was the Harvard that minority and middle-to-lower class students went to and then there was the real Harvard. You know, the Harvard you see in movies and read about in books, the one with the snooty young guys in cigar clubs sipping cognac, waited on by Butlers named Jeeves, and going out with girls named Bambi and Muffy. These were the kids who never showed up to class, yet always seemed best buddies with the professors and ended up getting B+'s without doing any work.

I mean, you think rich people would really allow their kids to eat dining hall food? No, they had their own special dining hall in some sequestered location. All those finals clubs that were supposedly frowned upon by the University were in fact the real Harvard. And after graduation, these kids would join their dads at the Goldman Sachs and Skadden Arps of the world. I can only hope that one day my kids will be granted access into this world of undeserved privilege. Only then will I know that I have achieved the American dream. Of course, this means that I will have to marry white so that my kids can at least look the part. I wonder if Ann Coulter would make a good wife?

I have no fucking clue where I'm going with all this either. This is what 16 hours of work and painkillers will do to you.

Quote of the day:
Nick: Man, before Ashlee, I used to have this thing against untalented pop stars like J Lo. Now I realize that attractive, untalented pop stars are so much better than unattractive, untalented pop stars.

Hours spent at work today: 16
# of Pushups done today: 100
Monopoly Card says: Go directly to jail. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200. Doh.

Staring Death In The Eye

Today I got oral surgery to get my four wisdom teeth removed. They put me under anesthesia and I didn't think much of it until I got home and watched a Flash informational video about my surgery (I was supposed to have watched it before). There, under potential side effects, it said that anesthesia could cause death in rare cases. So I stared death in the eye today and laughed. After all, I told death, that's a job for my job to do.

Is Ann Coulter hot? I don't think so and some random survey on the web doesn't seem to either, but here's what Bo has to say:
Bo: oh that's bs
Bo: it's because guys like you who can't see past her personality
Bo: you're so superficial

Hours spent at work today: 0 (Thank goodness for oral surgery.)
Horoscope says: Put your heart and soul into your work. Trying to sort through your personal problems will be like spinning your wheels. Focus where you'll prosper. I'll take this under advisement.
The worst part about oral surgery? No alcohol until I'm off medication.

Fun With Math

Summarizing Books/Theories With Math Equations

The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell
x = x*(x+1)
Feedback baby.

Trading Up: The New American Luxury by Michael Silverstein
x = x + 1
I just want something a little better....

Theory of the Leisure Class by Thorstein Veblen
sin²(x)+cos²(x)
Yeah, I know this is equal to 1, but I'm just showing off.

Das Kapital by Karl Marx
(a*b + c*d + e*f)/3, (g*h + i *j )/2, (k*l + m*n + o*p + q*r)/4
The means of production..... sorry, couldn't help myself.

Freud
sin(a³)/ln(b+c³)+e^(a2)+cos(d)/2
Looks complicated, but all the derivatives amount to nothing.

Tom Clancy
e^x
All the derivatives are the exact same...

Ann Coulter
1=2
Doesn't make sense to me either.

Hours spent at work today: 17
Fortune Cookie sez: Some men dream of fortunes, others dream of cookies. I dream of Jeannie.

Tombstones

Today at work, a transaction was announced that I worked on. As result, in a month or so I will be a getting a lucite tombstone to commemorate my work on this deal (for those of you not familiar, this lucite tombstone will say "Company X has been acquired by Company Y and that Investment Bank Z advised Company X Example tombstones). A tombstone is called such because in a way, it marks the passing of a company. But personally for me, it marks the passing of my hopes and dreams. Each ounce of lucite in my tombstones has been extracted from me in blood, sweat, and tears. Dramatic I know. As I sit in my cubicle at work at 3am wondering what the hell I'm still doing there, I look at those tombstones and weep.

In other news, there was an article in The New York Times about companies that monitor customer service calls. For me, the most amusing part was that: "some Indian call centers show their operators episodes of Seinfeld and Friends to teach them about American culture." The comedic possibilities are endless. Of course, these Indians might also end up believing that there are no black people in America.

Hours spent at work today: 18
Optimism survey says: NO
Meanwhile, Confucius says "Man on toilet is high on pot."

TV Shows

How would certain TV shows be different if they featured Asians (or rather me and people I know)? Let's take a look:

MTV's Date My Mom
Girl: So what can you tell me about Raymond?
Mom: He's a good boy. Got good grades in school. Made him very popular.
Girl: Umm... anything else? Is he athletic?
Mom: Hmm.. He got good grades. Couldn't really focus on sports.
Girl: ... Does he like to go to parties?
Mom: Not really. No time for partying in school. Had to focus on academics. Very important you know.
Girl: ... I guess....
Mom: What about you? Are you pre-med? Pre-law?
Girl: No. I'm an aspiring model.
Mom: ..... [blank stare]
Girl: ....
Mom: Nevermind, I don't want you dating my son.

MTV's Pimp My Ride
Xzibit: We took your Toyota Camry and put on 18" rims!!!!!
Me: [unenthusiastically] Wow.
Xzibit: And we put in 6 Xboxes!!!!
Me. Wow.
Xzibit: And that's not all! We put a bowling ball polisher in the trunk!!!!
Me: Wow.
Xzibit: What do you think!?!?
Me: One question.
Xzibit: Yeah!??!?!?
Me: How's my mileage?

NBC's Fear Factor:
Host (don't know his name): For your first challenge, you have to jump off a moving truckbed onto a speeding motorcyle!
Bo: No problem.
Host: For your second challenge, you have to eat bull testicles!
Bo: No problem.
Host: For your third challenge, you have to buy an item from the supermarket at full price!
Bo: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Or there could be a reality show based on me and my friends in high school. You know, sorta like Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County but cooler. Some clips would be:

Si: Wow. There's a sale at MicroCenter. We should go this weekend.
Bo: Man, LISP is so cool. Recursion is so elegant. Beautiful even.
Me [while watching TV]: Hey, does anyone know the derivative for tangent off the top of their heads?

Now the key question for you readers is how many of the above events actually happened.

Hours spent at work today: 3
Optimism outlook for the week: Negative, with chances of brief spurts of melancholy.

Damnit, Another Day

<Blog Template>

<Work Description>
Work [sucked, really sucked, sucked ass] today. I had to update this [presentation, model, document] that was due [tomorrow, soon, right away]. It took [a long time, forever, way too long]. And the worst part is that [it was so pointless, people were riding my ass, I was essentially a monkey]! Man, why did I choose this job? Oh yeah, the [money, money, money].
</Work Description>

<Humorous Exchange from Work>
(paraphrased)
Coco: Have you seen those new crop circles? They're amazing. It's proof that it must be aliens.
SAG: Dude, I'm so for aliens.
Coco: Yeah, totally. I'd like to be abducted.
SAG: Are you sure? Didn't you ever see that movie?
Coco: Fire in the Sky?
SAG: Yeah. You'd so be anal probed.
Coco: ...Yeah. No abduction if it's like Fire in the Sky. Anal probes bad.
DJ (from the row over): Who likes anal probes?
Coco (yelling): SAG!
Me (yelling): Yeah! He's working here, isn't he?!
</Humorous Work from Exchange>
</Blog Template>

Hours Spent at Work Today: 12
% Chance of Personal Revelation: 0.05%
Fortune Says: Sorry, please come again.

doh

Damnit Another Year

I've finally succumbed and decided to get a blog. It's criminal how much easier updating this thing is than updating my old site. Seeing as I how I remember nothing of '04, I figure I better start taking notes on '05. It's my New Year's resolution to have no less than 7 personal revelations this year (thereby topping my last year's best of 3). I figure if I keep detailed notes on how I reach them, I can publish them in a book titled: The Investment Bank of the Soul -- Revelations Learned Through I-Banking. It'll be huge I tell you.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
2005. Unbelievable. We're now closer to 2010 than to the 90's. Somebody shoot me plz.

As we reach this turn of the decade, it's time reflect on the past year. Unfortunately, because I spent most of the year at work, my memory is a bit fuzzy (or it might be the alcohol). But as best as I can recall, here are my pointless lists for 2004.

Movie That Most Spoke To Me:

• Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle

Most Questionable Moral Learned From A Movie:

• Blood baths in the name of vengeance are a-ok (courtesy of Kill Bill)

Favorite Drunken Moments:

• At The CoffeeHouse in NY when our training class made the waitress call our instructor to let him know that we would all be showing up an hour late because we were all wasted, and as a footnote, that I was a mess.
• At Maluken
• New Year's Eve... wait, can't really remember much...
• What the hell, all of them.

Top Three Locations For a Personal Revelation:

• At my cubicle at work at 2am.
• In my Toyota Camry coming back from Foxwoods at 2am.
• At the corner of Whitney and Grove in New Haven, CT at 5pm.

People Who Just Plain Suck:

• George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove
• I didn't watch enough basketball to get really annoyed at Bob Costas this year, but he's on in spirit.
• People named Derek

Songs That Spoke To Me:

• Sunday Morning - Maroon 5
• Since U Been Gone - K. Clarkson (a latecomer)
• Come Clean - H. Duff

Most Outrageous Purchases:

• Suit at Brooks Brothers
• 50 inch LCD-Rear Projection Sony TV
• Contact Lenses (I think I only wore one pair total)

Favorite Quote From New Year's Party:

• "God damnit, another year!" - said by Phil when the clock struck 12.

So it's '05, another goddamn year. I feel emboldened. Hopeful even. Damnit, I need a drink.