Searching

Some search items that have referred people to my site (aka why Google, even though it is slowly moving towards the dark side, still makes the best search engine)

1.) lucite tombstone IPO (from Yahoo!)
2.) investment banking bonuses this year (from MSN)
3.) pros and cons of section 338 election (from Yahoo!)

well, at least searches for "hot guys shirtless" no longer refers people to my site

you two

Two articles pretty close in time frame:

Bono bad
Bono good

Have I mentioned that I hate Bono?

Well, hate is too strong a word I guess. I don't really hate Bono like I hate Dick Cheney or Kevin Federline. The worst I can say is that I dislike Bono very much and might think twice about braking if I saw him crossing the street in front of me.

It's hard for me to articulate why. Let's go over the relevant facts:

1.) Bono is the lead singer of the uber-famous pop/rock group U2, which has been around for 20 years, give or take, and has not only achieved incredibly popular fame, but mind-boggling critical acclaim as well. Quite a number of their singles and albums routinely make Top 500 albums/singles or what not lists.
2.) Bono unashamedly admits that he's a celebrity with a cause. In his case, it's trying to get rid of AIDS in Africa, as well as getting other more prosperous nations to forgive Africa's debt
3.) Bono is egotistical, with a highly inflated sense of his own self-importance. In other words, he's a rock star.

So, none of the above alone should cause me to dislike the guy. I mean, I like U2 songs. I consider "With or Without You", "One", "Running To Stand Still" to be pretty catchy tunes. And there's nothing inherently wrong with being a celebrity with a cause. After all, at least he's doing something with his fame. As for #3, there's lots of pompous rock stars that I don't mind - in fact, it's hard to be a reputable rock star without having some inflated sense of your own ego. And unlike Chuck Klosterman and Coldplay, no traumatic events involving a girl and a U2 song has ever happened to me.

So I can but conclude it's the combination of all 3 factors in the extreme. Having some pompous Irish rock star preach at me about poor starving kids in Africa just bothers me. I don't like how a.) he seems to imply that but for him, I would not be aware of said issue or that b.) when people go to U2 concerts, they want to hear "With or Without You" or bloody "Sunday Bloody Sunday," not made to feel bad about an issue they have marginal control over (note: I suppose I should feel the same about Chris Martin and his crusades for Free Trade Coffee, but damnit, I like "The Scientist" too much). Or maybe it's because "Vertigo" is one of the top 3 most annoying songs of the past couple of years, because of their goddamn ripoff U2 iPod (which I don't have, but am opposed to in principle -- you can get a bigger, non-branded iPod for less!), because of their holier than thou attitude, and because of the Brett Favre treatment they receive from the press.
Dah, but I've said too much. I think this best sums it up: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/43192

Note: Is there a worst possible gift to give than a McDonald's gift card?

Outsourcing

So I was forwarded this humor article a while back on outsourcing. It's about a guy who decides to outsource his entire life, including: calls to his wife, picking out gifts for his children, and telling his boss he's coming in late. That made wonder what could I outsource. The answer came quite simply: online dating.

You see, working in an investment bank, one doesn't have too much time for interactions with new people -- I think I can count all the new people I've met in the past year on one hand. Basically, one of the few effective ways to meet and date while being an i-banker is to go online. In fact, the only date I've been on in the past 18 months was with a girl I met on Friendster. She was a pretty interesting person, but alas alas, the feeling wasn't mutual because she never spoke to me again (the drunken emails probably didn't help matters.). That was about a year ago (and I've been milking the story for the entire year).

In my rare moments of free time, I often think that I should try this online dating thing, but it's just too much damn work. I have to create a profile, think of witty comments that would interest girls that I find interesting, choose appropriate photos, etc. I could imagine spending hours internally debating the pros and cons of the question: "What are your Favorite TV shows?" I could either answer

a.) truthfully: The OC and The Gilmore Girls; or
b.) make up more masculine shows like: 24, CSI something or Lost.

See, with a.), if interpreted correctly shows that I have a sense of humor and am not overly serious, but on the other hand, The Gilmore Girls??!??!?! I think one of my female friends once said, "Even I'm not gay enough for that." But then again, do I really want to go out with someone who wouldn't go out with someone who likes The Gilmore Girls? Or who couldn't appreciate the irony in the profile? You could see how this could take hours. But I digress.

The point is that it would be great if I could get some cheap outsourced labor to do all this crap for me. And continuing on, I don't really have the time or patience (not to mention the intestinal fortitude) to browse profiles, send custom introductory emails, get replies for only 1% of them, establish contact, try to establish some sort of repartee online, then try to work out some mutual meeting times. Just too much damn effort. If there was ever a situation that needed outsourcing, it's this one. I imagine I could give my friendly Indian outsourcer my resume, likes and dislikes, and he or she could work out the profile, submit it for my approval, review profiles, send out standard "Hi, saw your profile, thought you were interesting, would love to get to know you better" emails, filter the replies, then come up with some witty responses to the responses, then prepare some prep materials for me before I went on the dates.

Since there are no Indian firms that do this currently, any takers out there?

Actually, come to think of it, that job sounds like banking, just replace girl with "Potential Buyer" and me with "Seller". So does anyone want to hire me for your dating outsourcing needs? If it's local, I'll even go on the dates for you.


Last thought:
Song that in principle I should hate, but find annoyingly catchy and find myself humming it randomly: You're Beautiful by James Blunt.

Bullet With Butterfly Wings

• After working in banking, I firmly believe that all thoughts can and should be summarized in bullet points.
• Bullet points are succinct
• They convey the essence of an idea
• They save time
• And if it’s one thing our busy clients don’t have
  - It’s time
• If it can’t be explained in two or three bullets (with subbullets):
  - It’s too complicated!

Let’s try general relativity:

• Einstein theorized that the speed of light is constant no matter your frame of reference
• Which implied all sorts of crazy shit with time and space
• The difference between general and special relativity is gravity
• Is any of the above correct?
  - Who the hell cares!

Oh Well

So I haven't posted in a while, and the explanation is fairly simple. One problem with trying a themed blog is that you feel constrained by said theme, and I'm just not creative enough to find out other things to say about banking other than:

1.) I work a lot of hours,
2.) I get paid a lot of money,
3.) Work can be interesting at times
4.) But the social good is debatable.
5.) I'm torn between 1, 2, 3, and 4

So I'll point you to other, more creative and witty takes on banking and its effects on the soul:

The Leveraged Sell-Out (Great title)
The Bullpen Report

Hencefort, this site will be devoted to my solipsistic meanderings, banking related or not.